Saturday, May 18, 2013

When life is hard, but love is real.

Sometime marriage is really magical. You feel on top of the world like you're actually working toward your dreams and aspirations.. then other times you feel like you can not possibly handle one more day of bad news. Sometimes you wonder if this is really your life and how your tear ducts can possibly keep producing liquid.
Because I want this to be real and try to be open here I am going to tell you what's been going on in our life.
Monday Greg and I were in a car accident. I was driving... Avery was in the car... and we were 10 minutes from home after a five hour drive home from Jersey.
I am more than happy to tell you we are all okay. I do not really want to go into it, just know we are all safe, but Greg's car is not.
Besides it being a completely traumatic experience in which I have relieved every night when I try to sleep, the next few days have been almost as horrible as the crash. Everyday has felt like getting an airbag to the face and we are just trying to figure it all out.

Getting another car is not in the current plan to say the least. Being newly married generally means you're at a pretty consistent state of broke, so my heart hasn't wanted to accept what I knew was probably coming next.
Greg and I have been saving to go on our honeymoon this summer. When we were planning our wedding we had SO much going on and SO many details we found ourselves saying things like "ugh I keep forgetting to look into honeymoon stuff" and we figured if that was the state our heart was in we should put off the honeymoon until we could give it the proper research and time.  So we have been saving since the wedding, dreaming and looking into where we really would love to go for our honeymoon and what we needed to do to get there.

It took all of 30 seconds for me to realize all our hard work and planning was over. That we would need to use all the money we had saved to buy a new car... my heart was crushed and I couldn't help but be five and cry and say it's just not fair.

So even though I'm sad I'm trying to keep moving. I keep being thankful our little family is safe and that we have each other. I'm thankful for a husband who can stay calm in a crisis. Who can see his car in pieces and just keep kissing me and telling me its okay. I'm thankful for friends like Maria who find out from someone passing us we were in an accident and immediately rush to the scene to get us and then let me call and cry and vent to her in the days after. Thankful for our family the Babiuks who take us out to movies to take our minds off everything, just a night of fun. Thankful for Kyle and Lizzie who know us well enough to know if we want to be alone it probably means we need people more than ever. And for all our friends and family who have been praying for us. We really love you all to the moon and back.

Sometimes life is really hard. Sometimes being a grown-up is really hard. But love and support are real. Community and family are real. And sometimes a good cry is just the medicine you need to get up the next day and try to move forward.

I do still have all my photos from last week... I will be back with them on a brighter note soon.
Thanks for letting me share.
xoxo j

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